I'm 21.5 weeks pregnant.

... and bohk-soong-ah is the size of a pomegranate!
Once again everything has stayed the same. Only difference is that I've gained two pounds, possibly more. Depends on when I weigh myself. Sometimes I fear I am gaining weight too fast. I gained close to nothing up until my 16-17th week, so I try not to worry. Another exciting thing: kicks! I know i've mentioned before that I have felt bohk-soong-ah kick, but I am feeling them regularly now. Nothing big but small little love taps. I never imagined it to be so comforting. It's like bohk-soong-ah is saying hello.

I'm dying to give you my 20 week anatomy scan update that I was so looking forward to but, that'll have to wait. (So much to tell!)


Cloth diapers, cloth diapers, cloth diapers!

So, Jon and I have been discussing from the beginning of our pregnancy about cloth diapering. I must admit I was totally confused at first (maybe even still), but am totally amazed. I know cloth diapering is becoming more popular among mothers but most people I know still can't imagine why I would even consider attempting such a task. I've heard things like it's dirty, expensive, and even "too much work". How much is "too much" when it comes to your child? Can that term even apply? Everyone has their own methods that are right for them and their child. I definitely don't expect people to agree with me. But I do expect that they respect my decision and not criticize.

Okay anyways, on to the exciting part. After months of research and trying to educate myself as much as possible about cloth diapers, I have started my stash!



These are brand new discontinued bumGenius deluxe bamboo fitted diapers. The lot came with six newborn and 23 small. It also came with three newborn litewrap covers and 11 small. The covers do have gussets but they are on the looser side because they are full cut. Great even for bigger babies and bulkier diapers. This all cost me $100. I absolutely love these diapers. Besides being so cute, they are super soft. And from what I hear from many reviews very absorbent. I love prints on diapers but nothing compares to a clean white/cream colored one. So natural. I can't wait to try these out!

Because I'm a WAHM, I knew that for the most part I will be with my baby at home. These fitteds are in no way waterproof without the cover but they are super breathable and will give my baby's bum some breathing time.

I plan to get a variety of kinds to see what will work with the baby and I and at what times. I am sure I want to get prefolds and some pockets. I will definitely update you as my stash grows.

Until next time...

Cheers.

This week i'm 20 weeks pregnant.

..and our bohk-soong-ah is about the size of a banana!
I can't believe i'm halfway through my pregnancy. I have to admit the first 20 weeks were not that long. I can only imagine how fast the second half will go now that we'll be busy setting up the nursery and buying things to get ready for little one. AHhhHhhh! I'm on my fifth day of my 20th week and so far I've been feeling pressure and tightness in my belly. Nothing to worry about but definitely a weird feeling. My back is killing me and sleeping without a body pillow is something I can't even fathom.

This week hasn't brought much change in my diet or moods. However, there are a couple things that makes this week super special.

1. I felt bohk-soong-ah kick for the first time last friday! Oh gosh. I suppose I could have felt little one before but I could never be sure. But ever since that night I've been feeling little taps and flutters. Nothing big where you could actually see but I could definitely tell it was bohk-soong-ah saying hi. Jon was able to feel it one night.. you should have seen his face. Priceless.

2. Our anatomy scan is in 2 days!!!! I haven't seen bohk-soong-ah since my 10 week ultrasound and hubby and I are both so anxious to see sweet pea. Besides that, we get to find out the gender!! Oh gosh oh gosh! I have to admit, throughout my whole pregnancy I've been so convinced its a boy that finding out the gender wasn't such a big deal to me. I was just happy that I would get to see bohk-soong-ah and make sure little one is healthy. But... now that I'm a couple days away. butterflies* I'm sure Jon and I will be ecstatic regardless of the sex. Plus whichever one we don't get this time around, we could try for again next time.

... okay lets not get ahead of ourselves ;]


*skipping lanes*


My great auntie sent me these photos. Isn't it beautiful? It's a flower found primarily in Thailand, Myanmar, and India. Parrot Flower is what they call it. Can you see why? Wow. It's things like this that make me so excited about bohk-soong-ah. I can't wait to show little one all that the good Lord has created for us.

Talk to you soon.

Cheers

8 more days until we find out what gender bohk-soong-ah is!!
Hubby and I grow more anxious everyday. I'm not quite sure how we're going to make it through this next week!

They say a good tip on staying healthy is to eat a rainbow at every meal.

Last night, for the first time in two weeks, Jon came home early enough from work for us to have dinner together. We decided to grill up some chicken with a bit of salt, pepper, rosemary, and lemon. We sauteed some zucchini, yellow squash, and green beans and picked at some grape tomatoes. Dinner was de-lish and the great part is I had some leftover for today. YAY!



I've been talking to a good friend of mine pretty often lately. (She's the one who sent over that last pic btw =]) She's one of the few people besides Jon that I can talk to without any restrictions. Throughout my pregnancy she's been attentive and supportive. She's never tried to tell me what is right or wrong, but has only offered insight on motherhood and a healthy pregnancy. She's a mom! We've spent countless nights on the phone talking about everything from abdominal pain to the ouija board. Don't ask. It seems like conversation possibilities with this woman are endless. She's smart and openminded and is in no shortage of funny.

This pregnancy has given me a chance to really sit down and reflect on my life. Appreciate what I have and cherish it. Family and friends especially. I feel good company is always coming and going and it's really on me to recognize it.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are, and who you want to become.

You never really know who these people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you know that at any moment they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and even unfair at first, but in reflection, you find that without ever overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you are and who you are to be. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love then back unconditionally, not only because of their love for you, but because they are teaching you to open both your heart and eyes to things.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never to able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and trust your judgement. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life, then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow will have in store. Learn a lesson in life each day you live.


"Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday"

Was it worth it?

Cheers.

I'm 19 weeks pregnant.

.. and my bohk-soong-ah is about the size of a mango!
I'm imagining its a cute little apple mango. As I look down at my belly, it's seriously hard to imagine my baby is rapidly growing inside me. I can only imagine where all my organs are moving to in order to make room. My belly has popped out just a little bit more. As far as cravings go I haven't had any major changes. I still can't stand meat and I'm still craving fruit and raw veggies. This morning I had some soup and a hard boiled egg. My granny doesn't let me forget my eggs. I feel some discomfort and tension in my lower belly and it's starting to feel a bit firm as well. I haven't felt any movement, least I don't think I have, but i'm eagerly waiting. All in all, I feel great.

In twelve days I have my next doctor's appointment and my fetal anatomy scan. You know what that means!! Jon and I finally get to find out the gender of our baby. Of course we will be happy with either, but Jon and I are hoping for a girl. Jon comes from a family with mostly boys. His father has multiple siblings.. ALL BOYS. Hubby's brothers all had boys. His sister had a girl but we all know it's the father whose juices determine the sex. It's about time for a girl!! His sister is hoping it's a girl so her daughter Katelyn would have a play date! My mother and great aunt are hoping for a girl. My granny on the other hand.. BOY BOY BOY! I'm assuming this is because she lost her son at a very young age due to illness. So either way, we'll be happy.

Pregnancy could not have come at a better time. I'm at a point in my life where I'm much more mature and situated and Jon and I are both ready for bohk-soong-ah. Another reason why my baby is such a blessing: my grandma. Granny is getting older. She's in her late eighties, but is underweight, has high blood pressure, and diabetes. Her only wish is to see her great grandchild. She tells me every time we speak that she is eating full healthy portions. I would hope she is doing that already but she is being very health conscious these days. I love it! I grew up with both my grandma and great grandma. That bond I shared with my great granny is something not too many people get to experience. I feel so lucky.

Everything in my life, my family's all together, has been going great. My mom has sold her store in Korea and will be moving up to Seoul any day now. She has been on a couple television interviews and has had rave ratings. By the looks of it, she might be appearing on tv more often now. As I've mentioned before, granny has been happier and healthier. God is good and life is sweet.

Happy Friday friends!

Cheers.

I talked to my mom and granny last night over Facetime. I miss them so much. You don't know how glad I am that we bought her(granny) an iPad while we were there last. Yeah my granny's down with the times. I usually speak to them about 8pm which makes it around 9am over in South Korea. It's so cute to see them all awake and refreshed. My granny always seems so happy that I call right when she wakes up.

I was raised by my granny and great grandmother for the most part. My dad had passed away when I was still a wee thing and it left all the major responsibilities to my mom. She did what she could for us. My grandmother worked to pay for the small things while my mother the mortgage and so forth. So, I spent most of my after school time with my great granny. My mom eventually moved back in with us and we were whole again. Definitely not perfect, but we were together. Sometimes I want to just beat myself up for not realizing this sooner. I was in high school and my hormones were racing. In a blink of an eye, we were in New York and down the line I had moved in with Jon. Now five years later my folks are back in Korea and I find myself missing them terribly.

If I learned anything from my childhood it would be that living a "family life" is no easy feat. Money, ambition, and temptation are only a few things that can threaten beautiful lives. But a family is something you not only live for, but fight for. I have no regrets so far and am positive my life will be just as fulfilling as Jon and I, both, continue to grow personally through date nights, hobbies and friendships, but it will be bohk-soong-ah's life that we devote ourselves to each and every day.


So, my dear dear bohk-soong-ah

As you grow bigger and bigger by the day, please know that you are now our beginning, middle, and our end. I dread the day you want to go sky diving, or attend your first frat/sorority party, or God forbid, go on your first date. I am selfishly enjoying the fact that you are tucked away inside me where I can keep you safe and protect you. Every tingle or flutter I feel reminds me that your arrival is the clock we live by. Your daddy and I have been through so many amazing things together, but I'm sure that you will be our biggest adventure yet.

I find myself wide eyed and on track. I'm racing with myself to find the best things for you. Prepare for your arrival. There is no doubt in my voice, but as determined as I am I've never needed so much assistance and reassurance. I never knew that I would be so appreciative that your daddy is quiet when I am angry. He is the voice of reason and the perfect balance to your mommy's fiery approach. If I could promise you one thing it would be that we will fight for you and all the things in life you deserve. We love you always.

Mommy


Cheers.

Over the weekend Jon and I headed over to Barnes and Nobles, straight to the children's section. Last time we were here perusing books about pregnancy and motherhood/fatherhood. This is when we bought the pregnancy bible: What to Expect When You're Expecting. But this time around, we were able to focus more on what we wanted to share with our bohk-soong-ah.

Goodnight Moon. Corduroy. The Hungry Caterpillar. We saw all our childhood favorites. You should've seen Jon. He couldn't take his eyes off anything. Every other book he found must have brought back wonderful memories and he would just sit right down to read them once more. He'd come up to me saying how much he couldn't wait for bohk-soong-ah to get here. How he wanted to be the one to help experience and show bohk-soong-ah new and beautiful things. It's moments like these that make me realize just how much of an awesome father Jon is going to be.

We then went down to TJMaxx. I was looking to find some comfortable home dresses or shirts to wear around the house. Fail. I'll have to try Marshalls next week. However, while looking around we came across the baby section and... SCORE! We saw books! Books for cheap! Books on clearance! Now these weren't just books you've never heard of, these were the ones we grew up with! Velveteen Rabbit. See Spot Run. Madeline.


A Light in the Attic. Where the Sidewalk Ends. The Giving Tree. Shel Silverstein. Another fond memory for Jon and I. So how could we resist, we just had to bring them home. Besides, The Giving Tree was only three dollars on clearance. We bought a couple more books, did a bit more shopping, and excitedly headed on home to read them once more.

As my 19th week of pregnancy approaches, I get more and more anxious to see my sweet, sweet bohk-soong-ah. My nervousness calms down and my insecurities lessen. I'm preparing to be the best mother I can be. To give my child every opportunity to be happy, catch dreams, and be loved.

My little Bohk-soong-ah...

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'Ts
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

-Shel Silverstein
Mamma loves you..

Cheers.

Over the weekend Jon and I decided to sit down to an overdue warm home cooked meal together. He's been coming home past 2am every night for the last week. Here's what we had:

Mapo Tofu
Tofu Tofu Tofu.. Tasty and healthy!

The great thing about tofu is that its extremely versatile. It's rich in protein and B-vitamins making a great substitute for meat in vegetarian meals. Tofu is also a great source of Calcium which can help prevent osteoporosis and any other bone related issues. You can put it in about anything. Its quite bland so it takes on whatever taste you flavor it with. Tofu comes in firm, soft, and silken. Firm is great for frying and silk/silken is great for stews and soups.

Enough babbling and on to the recipe!

Serves 3-4


Ingredients
- 1 package of firm tofu
- 3 stalks of scallions/green onions
- 3-4 cloves of garlic
- 1 tbsp of grated or diced ginger
- 1 red chili pepper (optional)
- 0.5 lbs of lean ground pork (choose any ground meat you like: beef, turkey, chicken)
- 1/2 cup of chicken stock
- sesame oil
- 1 tbsp szechuan peppercorns
- 1 tbsp chinese black beans (I get the ones in chili oil to kick up the heat)
- 1 tbsp chili bean sauce
- 1 tbsp black vinegar
- 1 tbsp hoisin/oyster sauce
- 1 tbsp soy sauce (optional* just to taste)
- 1 tbsp cornstarch


Toast peppercorns in a pan for a few minutes to help release the natural oils and aromas. Then grind up the peppercorn with a mortar and pestle. Food processor works fine as well. These peppercorns have a unique quality to them. They do add a little heat but more than that they numb up your tongue in a way that opens your taste buds to all the other flavors going on.


Chop off the white part of the scallions and cut them into small pieces. Save the tops for garnish. Mince the garlic and ginger and thinly slice the pepper. Cut the tofu into about 1 inch cubes.


In a wok, add a little sesame oil over medium heat. Toss in the scallions, garlic, ginger, and red pepper. Once slightly browned add the ground meat.


When the meat is cooked add in the black beans and turn up the heat. Then add the chili bean sauce, black vinegar, and hoisin sauce and stir. Add the half cup of chicken stock to the mixture. (if you want more sauce add more stock). Give it a quick taste and add soy sauce if needed. Fold in the tofu being careful not to break them. Mix the cornstarch with 1 tbsp of water and add to the mixture (this will help thicken the sauce). Add in a spoon of the freshly ground peppercorn. Simmer for a few more minutes. Garnish with the remaining scallions and serve.


.. and voila! Happy hubby
Hubby and I ate it over quinoa as a healthier option but it tastes great over white rice as well.

Note: if you choose to try it over quinoa make sure the sauce is not too salty.

Cheers.

.. and i'm not talking about the kind that pops up in your inbox more times than you could wish for. I'm talking about SPAM. Yeah, that's right! You got it! That fantastic salty hunk of meat? that comes in a tin.

Surprising as it may seem, I was never in LOVE with Spam. I haven't had too many cravings since I got pregnant. Mainly just fruits and fresh vegetables. Meat is something I almost never crave. Crave is an understatement actually. I've been loathing meat. BUT! I woke up today with this strong craving for Spam. Spam and rice. Spam and eggs. Spam in jjigae. Jjigae is the korean word for stew. As you know, spam is rich in sodium.. and probably every other bad thing you can think of. Plus hot dogs, and deli meat are all off limits for the next few months. So, I can cross Spam right off my list. I don't think i've ever wanted a hot dog so bad. I mean for me to crave Spam. Whoa! Speaking of which ...

Ode to Spam

I have a bit of fat, a mere 16 grams
I'm not quite beef and not quite ham
Take a good while, can you guess what I am?
I'm that marvelous thing, we all call Spam

In a bowl or on a plate
By yourself or with a date
I'm that stuff that sure tastes great
But, the store is closing so don't be late

When you're out you'll have to stop
To grab a tin at the shop
For there is nothing that can top
Spam in kimchi bokkeum bap

Whether the President or a stripper
For my meat, you'll be a sucker
And with kimchi jjigae, you'll start to pucker
As you throw me in that *ucker

And now you go to heat the pan
You peel the lid back from my can
And yell, "Spam Spam Spam, you are the man
This little gook's your number one fan!

Happy Friday friends!

Cheers.

... come again some other day

As you can see, its a pretty gloomy day outside. The photo doesn't show actual rainfall, but trust me its coming. I'm usually a huge fan of rain but pregnancy has gotten me a bit moody. It's another long day for Jon. He's on a show called Hostages and will be working well through the night. If I'm lucky he'll be home by three in the morning.

I have my pup to keep me company. He's definitely a handful. Mochi's only 11 months now. He's a free spirit, my Mochi. When he's not barking or causing trouble, pup's attempting to gnaw off my toe.


Hence, the Taekwondo outfit
It amazes me that out of all his toys we bought him. Keyword: Bought. He still favors his old leftover empty Powerade bottle. He kicks it around all day. Chasing and pouncing. A Day in the Life of Mochi: Eat . Play. Love. This too could be a major motion picture. Hollywood, get at me!


With hubby at work, Mochi on my toe, and the rain steadily drizzling.. my mind starts to wander. These days the rain always brings about mixed emotions. Primarily about wifedom and motherhood. It's days like these I wish my mom and granny haven't moved away. (But, i'll save that for another day)

Why is it that we remember the most seemingly consequential things in life?

Because ultimately, its the small things that matter. Am I correct? Our little world is built on the relationships that exist within ourselves and the people, objects, and events that swirl chaotically around. The best of us recognize and acknowledge these peculiarities as the "human" force in human nature and social activities. A touch, a kiss, a heartfelt letter, a simple hello, a warm smile.

The worst of us takes things for granted. Completely selfish and self indulgent. This is usually accompanied by an oversized ego. Often spoiled like there is no tomorrow. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. I try to be patient. Yet, I realize I am often one too.

Let's face it. Life, though sweet, is by far from perfect. I live for the days that make my heart flutter. All this while reminding myself that there is no way I can make a difference in the world if I, myself, cannot seem to change.

Fill your thoughts and life with happiness for life as you know it is just too short for petty drama.

Cheers.