I talked to my mom and granny last night over Facetime. I miss them so much. You don't know how glad I am that we bought her(granny) an iPad while we were there last. Yeah my granny's down with the times. I usually speak to them about 8pm which makes it around 9am over in South Korea. It's so cute to see them all awake and refreshed. My granny always seems so happy that I call right when she wakes up.

I was raised by my granny and great grandmother for the most part. My dad had passed away when I was still a wee thing and it left all the major responsibilities to my mom. She did what she could for us. My grandmother worked to pay for the small things while my mother the mortgage and so forth. So, I spent most of my after school time with my great granny. My mom eventually moved back in with us and we were whole again. Definitely not perfect, but we were together. Sometimes I want to just beat myself up for not realizing this sooner. I was in high school and my hormones were racing. In a blink of an eye, we were in New York and down the line I had moved in with Jon. Now five years later my folks are back in Korea and I find myself missing them terribly.

If I learned anything from my childhood it would be that living a "family life" is no easy feat. Money, ambition, and temptation are only a few things that can threaten beautiful lives. But a family is something you not only live for, but fight for. I have no regrets so far and am positive my life will be just as fulfilling as Jon and I, both, continue to grow personally through date nights, hobbies and friendships, but it will be bohk-soong-ah's life that we devote ourselves to each and every day.


So, my dear dear bohk-soong-ah

As you grow bigger and bigger by the day, please know that you are now our beginning, middle, and our end. I dread the day you want to go sky diving, or attend your first frat/sorority party, or God forbid, go on your first date. I am selfishly enjoying the fact that you are tucked away inside me where I can keep you safe and protect you. Every tingle or flutter I feel reminds me that your arrival is the clock we live by. Your daddy and I have been through so many amazing things together, but I'm sure that you will be our biggest adventure yet.

I find myself wide eyed and on track. I'm racing with myself to find the best things for you. Prepare for your arrival. There is no doubt in my voice, but as determined as I am I've never needed so much assistance and reassurance. I never knew that I would be so appreciative that your daddy is quiet when I am angry. He is the voice of reason and the perfect balance to your mommy's fiery approach. If I could promise you one thing it would be that we will fight for you and all the things in life you deserve. We love you always.

Mommy


Cheers.

Over the weekend Jon and I headed over to Barnes and Nobles, straight to the children's section. Last time we were here perusing books about pregnancy and motherhood/fatherhood. This is when we bought the pregnancy bible: What to Expect When You're Expecting. But this time around, we were able to focus more on what we wanted to share with our bohk-soong-ah.

Goodnight Moon. Corduroy. The Hungry Caterpillar. We saw all our childhood favorites. You should've seen Jon. He couldn't take his eyes off anything. Every other book he found must have brought back wonderful memories and he would just sit right down to read them once more. He'd come up to me saying how much he couldn't wait for bohk-soong-ah to get here. How he wanted to be the one to help experience and show bohk-soong-ah new and beautiful things. It's moments like these that make me realize just how much of an awesome father Jon is going to be.

We then went down to TJMaxx. I was looking to find some comfortable home dresses or shirts to wear around the house. Fail. I'll have to try Marshalls next week. However, while looking around we came across the baby section and... SCORE! We saw books! Books for cheap! Books on clearance! Now these weren't just books you've never heard of, these were the ones we grew up with! Velveteen Rabbit. See Spot Run. Madeline.


A Light in the Attic. Where the Sidewalk Ends. The Giving Tree. Shel Silverstein. Another fond memory for Jon and I. So how could we resist, we just had to bring them home. Besides, The Giving Tree was only three dollars on clearance. We bought a couple more books, did a bit more shopping, and excitedly headed on home to read them once more.

As my 19th week of pregnancy approaches, I get more and more anxious to see my sweet, sweet bohk-soong-ah. My nervousness calms down and my insecurities lessen. I'm preparing to be the best mother I can be. To give my child every opportunity to be happy, catch dreams, and be loved.

My little Bohk-soong-ah...

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'Ts
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

-Shel Silverstein
Mamma loves you..

Cheers.

Over the weekend Jon and I decided to sit down to an overdue warm home cooked meal together. He's been coming home past 2am every night for the last week. Here's what we had:

Mapo Tofu
Tofu Tofu Tofu.. Tasty and healthy!

The great thing about tofu is that its extremely versatile. It's rich in protein and B-vitamins making a great substitute for meat in vegetarian meals. Tofu is also a great source of Calcium which can help prevent osteoporosis and any other bone related issues. You can put it in about anything. Its quite bland so it takes on whatever taste you flavor it with. Tofu comes in firm, soft, and silken. Firm is great for frying and silk/silken is great for stews and soups.

Enough babbling and on to the recipe!

Serves 3-4


Ingredients
- 1 package of firm tofu
- 3 stalks of scallions/green onions
- 3-4 cloves of garlic
- 1 tbsp of grated or diced ginger
- 1 red chili pepper (optional)
- 0.5 lbs of lean ground pork (choose any ground meat you like: beef, turkey, chicken)
- 1/2 cup of chicken stock
- sesame oil
- 1 tbsp szechuan peppercorns
- 1 tbsp chinese black beans (I get the ones in chili oil to kick up the heat)
- 1 tbsp chili bean sauce
- 1 tbsp black vinegar
- 1 tbsp hoisin/oyster sauce
- 1 tbsp soy sauce (optional* just to taste)
- 1 tbsp cornstarch


Toast peppercorns in a pan for a few minutes to help release the natural oils and aromas. Then grind up the peppercorn with a mortar and pestle. Food processor works fine as well. These peppercorns have a unique quality to them. They do add a little heat but more than that they numb up your tongue in a way that opens your taste buds to all the other flavors going on.


Chop off the white part of the scallions and cut them into small pieces. Save the tops for garnish. Mince the garlic and ginger and thinly slice the pepper. Cut the tofu into about 1 inch cubes.


In a wok, add a little sesame oil over medium heat. Toss in the scallions, garlic, ginger, and red pepper. Once slightly browned add the ground meat.


When the meat is cooked add in the black beans and turn up the heat. Then add the chili bean sauce, black vinegar, and hoisin sauce and stir. Add the half cup of chicken stock to the mixture. (if you want more sauce add more stock). Give it a quick taste and add soy sauce if needed. Fold in the tofu being careful not to break them. Mix the cornstarch with 1 tbsp of water and add to the mixture (this will help thicken the sauce). Add in a spoon of the freshly ground peppercorn. Simmer for a few more minutes. Garnish with the remaining scallions and serve.


.. and voila! Happy hubby
Hubby and I ate it over quinoa as a healthier option but it tastes great over white rice as well.

Note: if you choose to try it over quinoa make sure the sauce is not too salty.

Cheers.

.. and i'm not talking about the kind that pops up in your inbox more times than you could wish for. I'm talking about SPAM. Yeah, that's right! You got it! That fantastic salty hunk of meat? that comes in a tin.

Surprising as it may seem, I was never in LOVE with Spam. I haven't had too many cravings since I got pregnant. Mainly just fruits and fresh vegetables. Meat is something I almost never crave. Crave is an understatement actually. I've been loathing meat. BUT! I woke up today with this strong craving for Spam. Spam and rice. Spam and eggs. Spam in jjigae. Jjigae is the korean word for stew. As you know, spam is rich in sodium.. and probably every other bad thing you can think of. Plus hot dogs, and deli meat are all off limits for the next few months. So, I can cross Spam right off my list. I don't think i've ever wanted a hot dog so bad. I mean for me to crave Spam. Whoa! Speaking of which ...

Ode to Spam

I have a bit of fat, a mere 16 grams
I'm not quite beef and not quite ham
Take a good while, can you guess what I am?
I'm that marvelous thing, we all call Spam

In a bowl or on a plate
By yourself or with a date
I'm that stuff that sure tastes great
But, the store is closing so don't be late

When you're out you'll have to stop
To grab a tin at the shop
For there is nothing that can top
Spam in kimchi bokkeum bap

Whether the President or a stripper
For my meat, you'll be a sucker
And with kimchi jjigae, you'll start to pucker
As you throw me in that *ucker

And now you go to heat the pan
You peel the lid back from my can
And yell, "Spam Spam Spam, you are the man
This little gook's your number one fan!

Happy Friday friends!

Cheers.

... come again some other day

As you can see, its a pretty gloomy day outside. The photo doesn't show actual rainfall, but trust me its coming. I'm usually a huge fan of rain but pregnancy has gotten me a bit moody. It's another long day for Jon. He's on a show called Hostages and will be working well through the night. If I'm lucky he'll be home by three in the morning.

I have my pup to keep me company. He's definitely a handful. Mochi's only 11 months now. He's a free spirit, my Mochi. When he's not barking or causing trouble, pup's attempting to gnaw off my toe.


Hence, the Taekwondo outfit
It amazes me that out of all his toys we bought him. Keyword: Bought. He still favors his old leftover empty Powerade bottle. He kicks it around all day. Chasing and pouncing. A Day in the Life of Mochi: Eat . Play. Love. This too could be a major motion picture. Hollywood, get at me!


With hubby at work, Mochi on my toe, and the rain steadily drizzling.. my mind starts to wander. These days the rain always brings about mixed emotions. Primarily about wifedom and motherhood. It's days like these I wish my mom and granny haven't moved away. (But, i'll save that for another day)

Why is it that we remember the most seemingly consequential things in life?

Because ultimately, its the small things that matter. Am I correct? Our little world is built on the relationships that exist within ourselves and the people, objects, and events that swirl chaotically around. The best of us recognize and acknowledge these peculiarities as the "human" force in human nature and social activities. A touch, a kiss, a heartfelt letter, a simple hello, a warm smile.

The worst of us takes things for granted. Completely selfish and self indulgent. This is usually accompanied by an oversized ego. Often spoiled like there is no tomorrow. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. I try to be patient. Yet, I realize I am often one too.

Let's face it. Life, though sweet, is by far from perfect. I live for the days that make my heart flutter. All this while reminding myself that there is no way I can make a difference in the world if I, myself, cannot seem to change.

Fill your thoughts and life with happiness for life as you know it is just too short for petty drama.

Cheers.