Saturday . January 04, 2014 . 2:58am


Early Saturday morning our precious Noah finally decided to arrive! If you know me or have been following my pregnancy, you know that I was and always have been terrified of childbirth. Come to think of it, I'm scared of a lot of things. Too many things. Here's how everything turned out...

I had a regular OB visit on Thursday January 2, my original due date. It was a typical visit, heartbeat and cervix check. At this time I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. I had dilated 1cm more than my previous visit. Other than the normal pregnancy symptoms, I felt nothing out of the ordinary. That afternoon I felt a bit crampy and uncomfortable, which for me, was nothing to be alarmed about. After all, cervix checks aren't the most enjoyable things. However, the next day I continued to feel cramps and pain in my pelvis. Around noon I started to time the pain, unsure if they were even contractions. You see, my great auntie tried to convince me they weren't. She has given birth three times, though the last was about fifty years ago, and knows exactly what it should feel like. I told her everyone's body is unique and that we all deal with pain differently. She concurred, but of course didn't really agree. Six o'clock finally rolled around and my contractions were coming every five minutes. At this time I decided to go to the hospital.

It was around seven o'clock at night by the time I got to the hospital and was admitted. I was in triage for a bit while they checked to confirm I was in active labor. And sure enough, I was. My water broke when my OB was checking my cervix and I was then given an IV. I was officially being moved to labor and delivery! After my water broke my contractions started to come every two minutes and they were becoming quite painful. I knew I was getting an epidural but not until I was moved to l&d. That felt like forever. By the time I was in my room, I was holding tight onto the rail and crawling up the bed. I was finally given the epi at around 10pm and by midnight I was ready to push.



here's one last shot of me while Noah was still safely nestled inside

My epidural was turned off and by the time Noah was ready to make his appearance, I was feeling everything. After a grueling hour and a half, my little one was finally here!




Mommy and Daddy were finally able to hold little one after patiently waiting for the last 10 months! I remember thinking to myself while pushing that I wasn't going to be able to do this. The pain was so excruciating. And although the dream of holding Noah in my arms was within reach, I was unsure if my body was going to be able to hold on. I remember not even being able to hold my legs. If it wasn't for Jon and the nurse, I'm sure my legs would have gave out. A short hour and a half later Noah was on my chest, his cord being cut by daddy. It was so beautiful. It was more than I ever imagined.




We're a family now and I can't wait for all the things to come...


Cheers.

Just when I started to wrap my head around 2013... BOOM! Another year gone.

In 2012, I dreamt about 2013 with so much excitement, so much anticipation, and 2013 didn't disappoint in the least. There were moments which were much harder than I could have ever expected, but just as I'd hoped, it was the best year of my life.

Obviously, Noah and Jon are responsible for most of this, but last year has taught me more about myself and becoming a mother and a better wife. Most importantly it made me realize how much I really am capable of. I can't believe it's over and I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

In 2013, I visited Korea, was married twice, and got pregnant with little one. I crossed off my life's dreams left and right. Could the new year live up to its predecessor?

It's 2014 now and I'd like to take the time to wish you all a Happy New Year!

Since ringing in 2014, I've been spending a lot of time thinking what it is that I envision for this new year, what it is that I want from it. From myself. More so than any other year, I feel I have a true opportunity for a fresh start. There are several aspects of my life, more than I could count, that need tweaking and I feel ready to dig deep and put in the work. There really is no time like the present, am I correct?

More than anything, I want to stop making excuses for my shortcomings. Phrases like, "I really can't find the time" or, "There's only one me" frequent my vocabulary more than they should. I want to stop complaining about time, and more so Jon's time, because the more attention I give to lack, the bigger lack becomes.

Once I've loosened my grip on the clock and allow time to flow as it should, I plan to re-prioritize the important things in my life.

Health. Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. I want to make more time each week, to blog, sit in silence, take a warm bubble bath, serve others, and simply reflect. I want to get out of the chaos, away from the constant chatter of people and the buzz of electronics. I want to eventually find a church our family would be excited about attending, one that we could raise Noah in. I want to finally start the next chapter in our life of being a true family. I want to simplify my world and get back to the basics.

Relationships. I want to strive to be a better wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, and friend. Send a handwritten note just because, cook a meal for someone ill. Smile at more strangers. Chat with the cashier at the grocery store instead of running off to my next errand. See the good in everyone I meet and be more selfless.

Creativity. I plan to turn off the television, put down the iPad, get off the phone. A lavish meal, a fun drawing, a post that's been lingering in my head for ages. I want to paint my nails, listen to super loud music, and dance wildly with my husband and son.

I once felt bad for looking toward 2014 with apprehension, scared it could never live up. But who am I kidding. 2014 marks the start of a whole new chapter in my life. We embark on this grand journey.. the three of us. It will be the best of them all.


I'm avoiding the term "resolutions" because statistics prove that those things are never successfully resolved. Instead, I keep this as more of a personal mission, a direction I wish to take.


Here's to you 2014... let's make it good.


Cheers.