It seems as if it's been forever since I've posted. Probably so because it has. A lot has been happening for our little family. If you couldn't tell from the title of this post, we're now officially Jersey.

Life still has it's challenges. Babies still fuss, mommas are still terrified, and dads are overwhelmed. But we're getting settled into our new home and we couldn't be happier. Nonetheless, we've been at our new house now for about a month and a half now and we are nowhere near done painting or unpacking.

Overall, things are just.. great! I couldn't think of a better place to raise Noah. There's so much for us to do here and there are so many young families and babies for Bohk to socialize with. He and I have joined a local meetup and have been attending many baby friendly events and playdates. Just the other day we met up with another mommy at the park and before that Noah and I went to a baby sing-a-long at the local library. Everything from Whole Foods to Hobby Lobby is close by. Not to mention there are plenty of restaurants. I suppose my only gripe would be that everything closes early here. Many stores even close on Sundays. I guess coming from New York I'm going to have to get use to a more suburban area.

Noah is doing well here too! He has transitioned from his "mermaid dance" (this is where he lays on his belly, lifts both his arms, and kicks his legs out) to almost crawling. He now smooshes his head into the floor and uses his knees and legs to push off and away! He's desperate to crawl. Desperate. He could care less if he falls on his face every time. Noah is determined. He's also an efficient roller. Baby proofing, if not before, is now a major priority.

Jon is a tad bit further from work but nothing we can't handle. He's super excited about our new place. Absolutely in love with our backyard and is BBQ crazy. So far, we're spending our weekends painting and slowly getting our place in order. Last weekend however, we spent the day out and about. We went shopping and took a nice stroll in downtown Montclair. Downtown Montclair has plenty to eat and lots of shops to visit. Not to mention, this great Cuban place we found. Great food and good atmosphere. It was a bit crowded though. Was to be expected on a sunny Saturday afternoon.


For all the months I've missed here is a quick photo collage of my Bohk.

I still can't believe how much he's changed. One minute he looks like Jon, then he starts to resemble me, all to just return to the spitting image of daddy.

Noah is now 7.5 months old. At his last doctors appointment he weighed in at 15.6lbs and 26 inches. Developmentally we're also in a whole new world. The doctor said that he's still too young to know the idea of permanence. She used the example of: if you put a toy down in front of him and then put a blanket right over it, he'll still be looking for the toy instead of realizing it's still right in front of him.

So naturally when I got home, I tried it. I put down his Sophie and placed his taggies blanket right over it. He moved away the blanket, grabbed Sophie, and looked at me like I was stupid. I knew it! He's obviously the smartest baby ever. ;] *takes off mommy goggles*

Given the above, he knows when I leave his side. He knows he's alone. Let the tantrums commence. If he's hungry or tired there is no putting him down at all. I wouldn't hear the end of his screams of bloody murder. If I were to put him down, I try to stay within sight or at least earshot so he would know I'm not far. Epic Fail.

If I had to pick just one cute thing he does lately it's reaching out for us. When daddy comes home, he looks at him nonstop turning his head and leaning. He also knows his mommy of course and reaches his arm out towards me. So precious!

Noah is truly, honestly, definitely, the most handsome, smart, calm, stubborn, wonderful little man ever.

I leave you with this...



Cheers.

Saturday . January 04, 2014 . 2:58am


Early Saturday morning our precious Noah finally decided to arrive! If you know me or have been following my pregnancy, you know that I was and always have been terrified of childbirth. Come to think of it, I'm scared of a lot of things. Too many things. Here's how everything turned out...

I had a regular OB visit on Thursday January 2, my original due date. It was a typical visit, heartbeat and cervix check. At this time I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. I had dilated 1cm more than my previous visit. Other than the normal pregnancy symptoms, I felt nothing out of the ordinary. That afternoon I felt a bit crampy and uncomfortable, which for me, was nothing to be alarmed about. After all, cervix checks aren't the most enjoyable things. However, the next day I continued to feel cramps and pain in my pelvis. Around noon I started to time the pain, unsure if they were even contractions. You see, my great auntie tried to convince me they weren't. She has given birth three times, though the last was about fifty years ago, and knows exactly what it should feel like. I told her everyone's body is unique and that we all deal with pain differently. She concurred, but of course didn't really agree. Six o'clock finally rolled around and my contractions were coming every five minutes. At this time I decided to go to the hospital.

It was around seven o'clock at night by the time I got to the hospital and was admitted. I was in triage for a bit while they checked to confirm I was in active labor. And sure enough, I was. My water broke when my OB was checking my cervix and I was then given an IV. I was officially being moved to labor and delivery! After my water broke my contractions started to come every two minutes and they were becoming quite painful. I knew I was getting an epidural but not until I was moved to l&d. That felt like forever. By the time I was in my room, I was holding tight onto the rail and crawling up the bed. I was finally given the epi at around 10pm and by midnight I was ready to push.



here's one last shot of me while Noah was still safely nestled inside

My epidural was turned off and by the time Noah was ready to make his appearance, I was feeling everything. After a grueling hour and a half, my little one was finally here!




Mommy and Daddy were finally able to hold little one after patiently waiting for the last 10 months! I remember thinking to myself while pushing that I wasn't going to be able to do this. The pain was so excruciating. And although the dream of holding Noah in my arms was within reach, I was unsure if my body was going to be able to hold on. I remember not even being able to hold my legs. If it wasn't for Jon and the nurse, I'm sure my legs would have gave out. A short hour and a half later Noah was on my chest, his cord being cut by daddy. It was so beautiful. It was more than I ever imagined.




We're a family now and I can't wait for all the things to come...


Cheers.

Just when I started to wrap my head around 2013... BOOM! Another year gone.

In 2012, I dreamt about 2013 with so much excitement, so much anticipation, and 2013 didn't disappoint in the least. There were moments which were much harder than I could have ever expected, but just as I'd hoped, it was the best year of my life.

Obviously, Noah and Jon are responsible for most of this, but last year has taught me more about myself and becoming a mother and a better wife. Most importantly it made me realize how much I really am capable of. I can't believe it's over and I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

In 2013, I visited Korea, was married twice, and got pregnant with little one. I crossed off my life's dreams left and right. Could the new year live up to its predecessor?

It's 2014 now and I'd like to take the time to wish you all a Happy New Year!

Since ringing in 2014, I've been spending a lot of time thinking what it is that I envision for this new year, what it is that I want from it. From myself. More so than any other year, I feel I have a true opportunity for a fresh start. There are several aspects of my life, more than I could count, that need tweaking and I feel ready to dig deep and put in the work. There really is no time like the present, am I correct?

More than anything, I want to stop making excuses for my shortcomings. Phrases like, "I really can't find the time" or, "There's only one me" frequent my vocabulary more than they should. I want to stop complaining about time, and more so Jon's time, because the more attention I give to lack, the bigger lack becomes.

Once I've loosened my grip on the clock and allow time to flow as it should, I plan to re-prioritize the important things in my life.

Health. Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. I want to make more time each week, to blog, sit in silence, take a warm bubble bath, serve others, and simply reflect. I want to get out of the chaos, away from the constant chatter of people and the buzz of electronics. I want to eventually find a church our family would be excited about attending, one that we could raise Noah in. I want to finally start the next chapter in our life of being a true family. I want to simplify my world and get back to the basics.

Relationships. I want to strive to be a better wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, and friend. Send a handwritten note just because, cook a meal for someone ill. Smile at more strangers. Chat with the cashier at the grocery store instead of running off to my next errand. See the good in everyone I meet and be more selfless.

Creativity. I plan to turn off the television, put down the iPad, get off the phone. A lavish meal, a fun drawing, a post that's been lingering in my head for ages. I want to paint my nails, listen to super loud music, and dance wildly with my husband and son.

I once felt bad for looking toward 2014 with apprehension, scared it could never live up. But who am I kidding. 2014 marks the start of a whole new chapter in my life. We embark on this grand journey.. the three of us. It will be the best of them all.


I'm avoiding the term "resolutions" because statistics prove that those things are never successfully resolved. Instead, I keep this as more of a personal mission, a direction I wish to take.


Here's to you 2014... let's make it good.


Cheers.

Lillien's Baby Shower 11.02.13


You see, initially my baby shower was planned for the ninth of November. I, unlike most, hate surprises. So naturally, leave it up to Jon to plan me just that. It was the morning of the second and Jon insisted we get up early and run some errands. Run to the bank, stop at Barnes and Nobles, etc. I didn't really wanna go with him but since he was working all week, I thought i'd try to spend as much time with him as possible. Even if it was just watching him get his haircut. We finally get home and SURPRISE!

I apologize ahead of time for the quality of the pictures. These were all sent to me by my guests. They were all cell phone shots. I would really like to start using the dslr but i'm still using my iphone without editing. Call me a lazy ass! Okay back on track. I know its hard to tell but that's me in the back there being bombarded with silly string! The culprit in front is Jon stuck in the crossfire.

I walk up the stairs and greet my loved ones. I see all the decorations and gifts and am so overcome. I was happy, in awe, and definitely in shock.

To my left there was a huge table of gifts and a beautiful spread of sugary confections. Here! Have a look!




I cannot stress, nor can pictures express, how beautiful the sweets looked.


And last but not least, just to the left of the cake were the cutest favors. They were mason jars filled with candies for my guests. They were so simple yet so cute! Everything was just my style.


Besides the decadent sweets, the party was also loaded with games. We played baby shower bingo, guess the flavor of baby food, and pin the spermie on the egg? I've never heard of that one but it was extremely entertaining. Check out the fun!



Where do you think Melanie is headed in that last picture?

After all the fun games, here I am opening all my goodies!


I wish I could show you everything I got but forgetful me forgot to snap a shot of it all!

But here are just a few flicks of me with family and friends at the party!



After most of my guests left, my family decided to stay a bit longer. We watched some tv, played some video games and went out to eat.


We even got the kids to clean! As you can see I was not opposed to the idea!


I am so grateful to everyone that was able to make it. With my family all overseas I was feeling a bit down that they would be missing my shower. But, I honestly forgot all that and had the best time. I want to thank my hubby and all my friends who made this party possible and was able to keep it a secret! Even with all my badgering! I wish I had more pictures of everyone but, I was having so much fun I totally forgot to take pictures!!

My only regret was that my close close friend couldn't make it. She was planning to come but last minute got stuck in a sticky situation. She has been there for me during all the rough weeks of this pregnancy. I can't thank her enough. I'm sure I would not have been able to deal with myself and my hormones without her. But I hope to see her soon.

All in all, I had the best baby shower anyone could ever dream of.

Blessed.


Cheers.

Today I am exactly 36 weeks pregnant!

...and bohk-soong-ah is the size of a honeydew melon!
I apologize for the long overdue update. A lot has been going on.


At 32 weeks pregnant, I was admitted into the hospital for preterm labor. I went in on a Monday thinking they would tell me my little stomach pains were normal and they'd send me on my way. Little did I know that the hospital would be my home for the next 5 days. They told me my contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart. They put me on Procardia hoping that the contractions would slow but they only became closer together; 2-4 minutes apart. "You have the most contractions when it comes to anyone else on this floor." I was in labor and delivery! I was so overwhelmed and scared. I cried.

They hooked me up to an IV, gave me my first dose of steroids, and I stayed overnight in L&D. I was then put on magnesium and as soon as my contractions became far enough apart I was moved to antepartum. 24 hours apart from my first injection I received my second and last dose of steroids and then was closely monitored. I stayed on magnesium for the next couple days.

I was finally allowed to eat! I was starving when I walked into the hospital. Had I known I'd be staying and not allowed to eat or drink, I would have stopped at a buffet before going in. I'm one of those odd people who quite enjoy cafeteria food. But honestly, the hospital food really wasn't bad. The menu was pretty extensive. A little bit of everything. Here are a couple of the meals I ate while there.


But one can only eat so much hospital food. So, Jon, my wonderful hubby brought some Korean sushi rolls to share. We thoroughly enjoyed the spread!


Don't worry! The rolls did not contain any raw fish or meat ;]

I was then discharged on Friday on modified bed rest. This meant I was to stay in bed or lay on the couch as much as I could. I was allowed to get up to use the bathroom and eat. Jon took off a couple of weeks to stay by my side. Now that I'm 36 weeks I feel much more at ease.

As far as my symptoms go, things have definitely gotten worse. Both my upper and lower back are in pain and it has become very difficult not only to sleep at night or even sit on the couch and make it through an episode of chopped. And that's only 30 minutes long! My belly button feels like its ripping and I have lower pelvic cramps. I guess I really am getting that much closer to meeting little one!


Dear Bohk-soong-ah,

With my hands on my belly, I lie in bed at night thinking about the first moment I will hold you. The shape of your eyes, the color of your hair, the feel of your skin. Will you have big brown eyes like daddy? Light yellow skin like mommy? I pray for your health and development and hope that I am providing you with a warm and suitable home for you to grow. But first and foremost, I pray for your beautiful life. You are the gift daddy and I have been wanting for so long.

Somedays I find myself close to tears thinking how excited daddy and I are to show you this amazing world. I can't wait for you to experience all of its beauty, and I anticipate how we will help you through all of its heartaches. I want nothing more than for you to feel safe and supported, honored and respected. I pray that daddy and I will be a prime example of patience and unconditional love.

My little one, my dream for you is to be strong and confident, yet soft and caring. I want you to know that without a doubt you can do anything you put your mind to, so long as it's done with integrity and hard work. I am relieved that you, my little mister, already have the most amazing man in your life to emulate. Take after his free spirit, it will bring joy to everyone it touches. Model his kindness, it will soften even the hardest of people. Follow his work ethic, it will help you reach all your goals.

Noah, each time we get to hear your little heart beat and feel your little taps coming from inside of me, we are reminded that we have been entrusted by the Lord to care for you. Our purpose in this world has forever been broadened and for that daddy and I are ever so grateful.

We love you always,

Mommy


Cheers.